Wednesday, October 18, 2017

More Why…

October 9, 2008 by admin  
Filed under Funeral Celebrants, Random Thoughts

The tagline on my Celebrant logo says ” Every Life is Worth Remembering”. I believe that absolutely and fervently. Creating a meaningful service is heart-work. It need not be fancy or expensive and can be held pretty much anywhere. The intention and content are what count.

My ex-husband died in May of 2000. He was only 63, and we had been divorced for almost two decades. There was no service planned for him, so I flew to Spokane where our two daughters lived, and the three of us plus his son from a previous marriage  had a little informal memorial service for him in my daughter’s living room. We told stories and laughed and cried. I gave each of them a matchbox car from his collection. Reconciliation and healing began in that living room.

My sister and I have lost our parents recently. Our mother died of Alzheimer’s in January of 2003, and our father followed in March of 2004. Not at all religious, and quite unsentimental, my parents didn’t want any fuss made when they died. And they specified cremation. We found a wonderful Celebrant to help us plan the services and officiate them. My mother’s service was sweet and fitting to her. We played some of the old hymns she remembered her mother singing when she was a little girl, and my sister read a lovely piece my mother had written when on a plane flight to Britain many years prior. The Celebrant presented a eulogy created from the many stories we told him at our family meeting. At the conclusion, in unison, all of us gathered there cheered “Bye Vi”! It was perfect! My dad’s service was held in the lounge of his golf club, a place he visited right up to the weeks before he died. He would meet a bunch of his old friends for drinks, and so as people arrived for the service, they were offered a glass of wine. There was much laughter and some great stories as well as some contemplative moments and tears. We celebrated his life exactly where and how he would have liked! Our acceptance of our parents’ deaths, and our healing process would have been delayed if we had not had these services.

Every life is indeed worth remembering…and every service can be a treasured tribute to that life.  This is why I am called to do this work as a Funeral Celebrant.

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